My ex is back together with their ex. Why, and will it work this time? The definite answer for this is no. They’ve been there, done that; it didn’t work once. What makes you think it will work this time? Let me tell you why: people getting back together with their ex after a relationship — it’s not like they broke up and got back together; they broke up, got into another relationship, and then they’re going back together. This is just a clear sign of extreme low self-esteem on both ends. Both of them don’t believe that they can do better, so they are going back and seeking the familiarity of someone who once wanted them and approved of them.
That is the only reason they will get back together — because they know that this person once said, “Okay, you’re good.” They already know their bodies, they know their behaviors, maybe they know their family, so they’re like, “Oh, that’s all right.” They can’t see that they can do better. They don’t believe that they can do better, so this is why. And will it work? It cannot work because there is a lot of baggage, a lot of emotional baggage. There was a reason why this relationship ended. They remember that, and then they got into another relationship, probably with you, and then they came back.
This is the rebound effect that will always fester inside both of them. They will both think, “How was your other relationship? What have you done $exually? Where have you been? What experiences did you have that maybe you don’t have with me?” There will always be this nagging voice: “You’ve been with me, then you’ve been with someone else, and now you’re with me again. Can I trust you?” From both ends, both of you guys—it doesn’t matter male or female, both of you will have this insecurity: “Can I trust?” Moreover, if one of the partners initiated the breakup, the other one will be even more insecure because, “You left me once; I don’t know if you’re going to leave me again.” Or, the one who left might think, “Maybe they got me back, and now they will want to leave me just to pay back.” I mean, there are many messed up scenarios.
Never, ever get back together with an ex under any circumstances. It doesn’t matter if your ex cheated, monkey-branched, or rebounded — once the relationship is over, it’s over. The relationship said what it had to say. Meaning, once a relationship is done, the relationship failed. It just failed. Your partner could have stayed and worked things out with you, because in a relationship, things will always hit the fan. It happens. It happens a lot. And if they don’t have the skills, or you don’t have the skills to maintain the relationship when things are happening, a breakup is just a matter of time. And they clearly still don’t have this ability.
After a breakup, you need to fall back in love with yourself. Because if you don’t do this work, you will just end up in another relationship and another breakup, and another relationship and another breakup. This is why people keep perpetuating the same types of behaviors over and over again, the same types of relationships over and over again, and they expect a different outcome. That’s just insanity. That is insanity — not changing, getting into a relationship, and hoping that the other person is different. No, no, no. You bring you everywhere you go.
This is why you need to change yourself, you need to work on yourself, you need to elevate yourself. If you don’t, just don’t be surprised why you keep attracting the same level of people. Just maybe they look different, but the personality is the same, and the breakups that you have are probably the same. There is a common denominator. Let me tell you the common denominator of all of your breakups: it’s not the other people; it’s you. You need to work on yourself. And the fact that you care so much that your ex is dating his or her ex again is concerning. I can understand, but it’s concerning because you don’t need to care about them so much. You need to care about you so much. So go back to yourself. Do the healing work.
It’s unhealthy behavior for you to still be bothered by your ex. It’s time for you to move on. You need to bury the opportunity of you guys ever coming back. You’ve got to lose the hope for you to heal.
